Sometimes I worry that our society’s people are slowing losing the ability to communicate that which really matters to one another. With text-messaging, email, and sites like Myspace and Facebook, there’s less of a need to talk in person, and I worry that this is distancing us from our friends and family. I’ve always been a big believer in communication—my mom is a therapist; I learned about sharing feelings early on—and I think that sitting down and talking to someone can solve almost any problem. The problem is that, lately, sitting down and talking seems to be the last thing anyone wants to do. I think it was Hemingway who said only the individual can know his own innermost thoughts and feelings, and I believe that this is true. Perhaps we are all too complicated, on the inside, to ever be completely known by one person, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t share at least a little piece of us. Every person is a complex web of thoughts and opinions and hurt feelings and little moments of happiness, but if one doesn’t share these things then no one will have a hope of understanding him. I have seen so many great friendships broken up this way—a twinge of a misunderstanding morphed into a vast, swollen problem, all because those involved didn’t simply sit down and say, “We need to talk.” One of my friends completely severed her relationship with one of her best friends because neither of them was willing to reach out and share her feelings. One day they had an argument, the next they didn’t say a word to each other. After that every day was the same: silence. And so the friendship ended.
How can people let things like this happen? Why must we be so stubborn, to let such little matters escalate until the drama obscures common sense? Why can’t we just apologize, suck it up when we do something wrong, and move on? Pride is not worth the cost of a friendship. Yesterday I had to apologize to some very good friends of mine because I had made a mistake, or rather, a string of mistakes, or rather, I had been insensitive. I had been insensitive for quite a long time. When my friend finally told me why things had been weird between some of us, I didn’t get defensive, I just apologized and told her I would try to do better. We had a bit of a heart-to-heart—it was lame but it was necessary. When I got home that night, I just thanked my mom for drilling the need to communicate into my head. Sometimes, even close friends can feel like there’s a rough stone wall between them—emotional distance is much more potent than physical distance, but luckily it can be bridged with only a few words. A few honest words. I hope that I can always remember that words, when chosen wisely and honestly, are the most meaningful things in the world. Without them, we would have no relationships, no happiness, no life. Let’s never forget to talk to one another.
